My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
