Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
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I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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