i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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