She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
