I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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