i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
