Porn is love you can see.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
