I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize