i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
