Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he thought i was a dude.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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