I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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