do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
my shit smells like andre
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
