Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize