I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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