i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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