just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
