Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
nutella sex= disaster
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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