that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
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He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
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We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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