girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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