That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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