Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
His nipple licking is glorious
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