I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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