Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
