I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
