You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
