I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
