i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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