Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
