who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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