I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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