he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
