Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
