I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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