So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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