How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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