Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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