did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
