all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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