I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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