I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize
