honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
worst night to have a conscience
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
