Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
