who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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