So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize