Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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