I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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