he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
