I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize