Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
