I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
