Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Dignity is for republicans.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
