I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
