Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
