Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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