You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
We smell like vodka and hangover
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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