I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
