I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
