if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
They have beer where we have blood.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
