Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
