"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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